Most fucked up feeling.

Really hate the fact that I let my girlfriend access my phone and she actually changed her phone password not to let me access. What is this? Trying to act secretive? Shouldn't couples be truthful and not hide things from each other? This could mean something fishy to me if you do not know. I'm being very frank here.

The reason why i don't let you see my message the other day is because i haven't even replied my friend and you keep snatching my phone to see. But the point is did i ever say you can't see? What about you? Why do you have to be so petty and change your password? The reason why i don't talk to you is because when you do this, it just reminds me of those who cheated on me... So please don't. Don't ever lie to me. Do something wrong behind my back and you'll never have my forgiveness. You have my word on that.

Good night world. Today just sucks seriously _|_

Finals are OVER !!!

Today marks the end of finals. Damn VUCA lol. Got 1 question really don't even know how to do. 10 marks X.X GG BA? Well, at least it is OVER. Now is waiting for results and decide whether to continue SMU... Don't really like studying there :/ The culture and all the JC students just aren't suitable for me. Lol.

On a side note, next monday i'm going back to PLAB to serve back disruption! Been so long... Don't even know can go back do what. Lucky it is just 3 weeks plus. PHEW. FASTER ORD CAN LE. :D

Feeling awesome now ;)

;(

也许有时我必须装坚强才能..

Atelophobia.

Haven't been a good boyfriend lately. Le sigh ~ :( Sorry bb. Didn't mean to make you sad... I love you so so so so so so so so so so much :(

Latest photos of us.

Mixed feelings.

Small things that affects relationship. It's really ruining my mood... :(

Weekends!

Appreciating weekends SOOOOOOOOOOOO much now :)

#randomthought

Sometimes i just felt that people will be better off without me.

The Usual

Met up with the clique in the morning for a basketball session. They just can't fail to make me laugh as usual. Never changed. We should really meet up more often guys! Night cycling + Chalet ! (Y)

Everything felt so different now...

Wisdom Tooth Surgery!

Went to Khoo Teck Puat Hospital today for my wisdom tooth surgery @ 4.30pm. Lucky got my parents fetch me back if not i have to bite the gauze and take bus or maybe even cab! Phew~  As for the extraction, it doesn't felt pain at all until now, only numb-ness.. I guess that's a good thing? :D
After extraction, we went to Greenwich to have dinner and i had Coldstone ice cream tgt with my girl for dinner. XD

Bb went home after coming up to my house awhile and passed me the cold pack for me to ease my swell. Awwww~ So sweet of her right? :x Like so rare! Anyway, Thanks bb. I love you ! Sorry for ignoring you yesterday because i'm angry.


One thing for sure is that I've never believe that our r/s is unstable, NEVER. 

Worried.

Tmr will be my wisdom tooth surgery! Cannot bite le... :(

Basically, went to the market with my mum to do some groceries shopping and then washed my baby.

STAY-HOME DAY = BORING DAY 

While washing baby...

Mummy asked: " Boy ah, 你的女朋友到现在带你上去过她家了吗?"

I replied: "没有ley. 做什么?"

Mummy said: "没有为什么啦。她为什么不敢带你上去?"

I replied: "不懂啦..."

Mummy said: "你不要给她骗啦。哪里可能这么久了还不要给父母看的。我也是女的，她只是跟你等到找到更好的男孩就跑了。你不要这么傻..."

It kept me thinking... :/

In addition, told my girl that i don't like her go those places le she still went...  WHAT A DAY 

SAF50

Went down to SAFTI today to recce the place as my squadron will be there during SAF50 day on 1st July.

Literally a waste of time... Went there and finish the recce in about an hour plus but have to stay there zuo bo -.- Reach back camp around 4.30pm to continue duty. Hais.

每个人都说我很幸福。又有钱, 有女朋友, 又有车。但是, 为什么我不觉得我开心呢? :(

只觉得一直是我在付出, 但你呢?

原来爱不是我努力就可以...

Next milestone of my life.

3 more mounts! & off i go to pluck my wisdom tooth. After that, PRE-ORD lo! :D Sian part is that i need to serve finish my remaining days left as a NSF during holidays when school starts... Boooo :( Actually also no harm. Better go off earlier. Damn sick of serving liao~ 

Next month will be filled with camps when the date hits 21st. Hope can meet more awesome friends in SMU! Come to think of enrolling to SMU, i still have not gone for the check-up... zzzz. Damn troublesome hais. Have to be Raffles Medical Group one somemore. Why cannot just use Army FFI?! WHY! D: 

Things are quite okay with my girl these few days except i felt that the intimacy level between us both dropped. :/ Don't know. Maybe is me thinking too much again. 

Some things are better left unknown.

Losing it. The communication is low. Nothing seems to go right. Someone else knows my girl better than me. Guess its game over? Well, i don't know... Hope is me thinking too much. Want to find out but im tired of hurting myself in the end.

Sorry for replying cold if you think i am. Was kinda upset that you actually ate the korean bingsu that i recommended you with your friend instead of waiting for me. I've always shared things with you forst but you chose otherwise.. And the reason why i never text you is because i didn't want to disturb you ytd as you reply damn slow. And you know i don't like. But today you seemed rather busy. Not texting me even till now. Seems like you got others to text, 我不配.

After so long!

Today bb came over to my house to accompany me! :D Felt like it has been so long never see her le T.T Was happy that she came because mummy went to hospital to visit daddy's friend whom i heard has been hospitalized since last 2 weeks? Then now they say he gone le. :/ Was so fast. My condolences...

It's gonna be a busy mount this weekend due to the numerous tackles. Sighpie... Lucky i remembered to dl my drama into my phone! If not, it's going to be so boring in camp. Don't know till when then can see bb again :( probably next friday le.. Wish i could hug her longer D:

Even though we quarrel, fight, have cold wars & i laugh at you for funny things at times, you know that i still love you right :3 So please don't be mad at me for long if that happens because i miss you so... :x

FINALLY!

Stayed home today for the whole morning and afternoon till about 6pm before going Bedok to meet my parents. Dl-ed Marvel Agent of Shield for me to watch in camp. As usual, it's so boring at home so i decided to play dota. However, got bored after playing 1 match so i went to search for some shows to watch.

Somehow i recalled that someone in camp said that a korean drama "Orange Marmalade" was nice. Thus, i decided to go check it out by streaming the 1st episode. Being the "not so korean drama fan", i thought it will be a so-so kinda show. But after finishing watching the 1st episode, i just want to continue watching the 2nd episode! Plus, i felt that its a nice show! Damn... It's so rare for me to get hooked up on  korean drama as i usually prefer taiwan dramas.

Oh well, so i continue to watch 3 episodes of it which they only release till 3rd one sadly... :( I feel that i like to watch shows damn fast because i dont like to wait so long for an episode which i probably will forget the show by then. But I've no choice..  Haissss. Need wait liao lor. While watching, i had 1 magnum ice cream, 1 pint of Haagen Dazs, 1 tidbits as well as 1 can of pepsi twist. The result of being lazy to go opposite buy lunch. Lol.

So after watching the shows, it's almost 6 and off i go to meet my parents and have dinner -- ah ma house -- Home sweet home.

On a side track, still considering my uni application... Really headache. Think i just be a good boy and follow economy le. Best is to go SMU right? :/ A local uni is still a more valuable cert than a private cert after all... Work hard lo the most... D: Think if i accept idk when then can have my marriage already...

Probably 27 or 28 earliest. So old T.T

Mood level - Beyond low

This week has been a very stressful week. All the planning of duties and more adhoc duties last minute came in make it even harder to plan. Hais...

As for my studies, still planning to choose between SIM RMIT or UOL after i ORD. Oh, I've decided to give up my placing in SMU because i felt that it will be damn stressful and it's not the kind of course that i like... So no point studying a course that i don't like right? :/

All these had resulted me in having a tough time which somehow affected my mood... But then, my girl doesn't even know and even made me more sad by replying late and etc. The worst is that i don't even feel a little bit of concern from her which kinda disappoint me alot... Sigh. In addition, i won't even need to see her for the next week due to the wisdom surgery. Well-played, really well-played.


Shouldn't couples care for each other? Where is the care from you :'( 

Confessions.

I really don't like ppl keep saying i rich i rich... Kinda annoy me whenever they say it.

Like hello? It's just that i know how to save up since primary school till now and whenever i have free time, of course i have to pamper myself with those nice food right... Zzz.

Another thing is that how in the hell am i lupsup? Ppl in the squadron keep saying i lupsup, influence them go club and siam tiu all. WHAT THE HELL! Just because i went a few more times than you guys means i lupsup meh -.- Sibei dulan. I'm so innocent pls. 

Last thing is that i really don't like slow replies. Really really don't like. I rather you don't text me at all or text me when you are really free. Kinda upsets me when i took the damn effort to reply your messages fast while you take don't know how long to reply a single message. Makes me feel that you are not interested in the conversation at all. I mean if you're doing something, you can at least let me know beforehand so i will just fuck care about how long you take to reply right? Is it so hard? Sigh 

Sorry for the rants... Just feel that i had to say out all these unhappiness stuffs. If not one day I'm really gonna die of emotional breakdown. Kthxbye

A day with high and lows.

So today i went to my girl's house to fetch her go out for lunch. But was kinda disappointed that she made me wait literally 45mins before she was ready to come down. 

Lesson learnt - Never say the exact meeting time.

Putting that aside, we went to "The Dazzling Cafe" for lunch. 

Ordered 3 items which cost about $57 including gst. and service charge.

Chicken Spaghetti

 Mocha Slushie

 Chocolate Hazelnut Honey Toast

The food was soso only to be honest and the honey toast has too much whipped cream instead of the amount soft serve ice cream... :( 

After that went walk around the area and head back to my place. Dinner was at Fish & Co. at Tampines 1 with my family and my girl which we all ate till superb full. 

Then it was home again. Send my girl to the bus stop near my place and then disappoint me again. HaisHaisHais. 不想提了

Now that im back in camp, time to lights out. Ciao~

The Harsh Reality.

Me, myself & I.

The feeling when you suddenly came to realize that you are just alone... :(

Moody

So... Today I've received an email from SMU admissions that state "Congratulations! We are pleased to offer you a place in Bachelor of Science (Information System Management)". I was feeling happy at first but on a second thought, confused.

Still don't know whether should i go for it as its a IT course with 60% programming... :/ I was worried that i couldn't cope with all the codings and stuffs as well as the high amount of stress that i would face across the 4 years. Whereas for private degree, its just 2 years with a more flexible timetable and i could work part time to earn some cash.

This kept me thinking for almost a week already. And i still can't decide... Probably i should just put down the past and ego and ask J for some advice which is really my last resort before i make the final decision...

Uni application already made me so stressed up and then i saw smth that upset me again.. Sometimes i really wonder why does bb have so much guy friends? Every single time when i ask is sure her friend and her friend brother or smth. Hais.. i really wished i have some girl friends to talk to at times... Why do they avoid me after i got into r/s :(

Really wish i could accept all this shit and don't feel anything about it but i just can't :'( All the negativity just flashed across my mind. Although i may feel sad and just ignore you when these happens, I'll still be glad that you're truthful to me. However if bb is going to ever lie/hide anything from me, i guess its the end.

p.s. I hate ppl lying to me

Stressed up

Feeling so sad when my bb is sad and in pain. Knowing that i can't do much about it, i tried to comfort her but also no use :( In addition to that, i'm feeling so stressed up and worried about my SMU interview tmr... Really hope all these can faster end so that i could go back to my carefree life and just concentrate on sayang my bb. Very long never see her smiling brightly already. Want to bring her for a good meal to cheer her up also hard... Guess i have to wait for a few months before i could actually do that :/ 

All in all i only hope for 2 things now...

1) Bb get well/better soon and faster finish her wisdom tooth surgery successfully without anymore cocked up

2) My interview goes smoothly tmr

God please just grant me these 2 wishes...

Mehhhhhhh.

Nothing seems to go well these few days after coming back from Korea.. :( Met bb for 2 days, both days also didn't go well. What happened? :/ Shouldn't it be a happy one? Why does it end up in this way. Feeling way too down in addition the both of us don't seemed to text so much as compared to before. I need something to cheer me up! Urghhh

Happy 7th Monthsary.

Throw all the negatives away, today marks the 7th month of me and b! <3 I love you. I just hope you'll be loyal juts like the same way that i treat you.

Besides that, Korea is just 3 weeks away! Time to change money already... 1 SGD = 800 Korean Won only... That's counted low according to the chart. But it's not going to stop me from SHOPPING! Gonna buy alot of stuffs there! (if it catches my eye).

Lets do the countdown...

21 DAYS

Been so long.

I'M SOOOOOOOOOOO BOREDDDDDDDDD. (Which explains why i'm here lol)

Okay so i haven't been updating because i'm just to lazy. :X Time flies and i'm going to ORD this year in September!!! :D Please take me to September 4th as soon as possible! Lots of things i wanna do this year...

Shall create a list here.

1. Go Korea in April
2. Go Taiwan after ORD in September
3. Enroll into a University
4. Get a fun job after ORD before starting school
5. Go staycation or vacation with bb (if it's even possible :/)

These are the main 5 things! The rest lazy to type. Haha. Hope everything goes smoothly this year!

Signing off ~  (: